This memorial website was created in the memory of our beloved son, Lovell Keith Adams Jr, better know as "JR" who was born in Gilroy CA on July 17, 1987 and was killed on March 18, 2005 at the age of 17 while vacationing in a resort area between Cancun Mexico and Playa Del Carmen. He was struck and killed instantly by a speeding car with no car lights on while trying to cross a dark busy highway with family and friends. The coward who brutally killed JR got out of his car and ran! Supposedly, he turned himself in the next day and was released SCOTT FREE with not even a slap on the wrist. What he did receive was a pat on the back by the Playa Del Carmen Police Dept. [for being such an upstanding citizen?] and in their official statement the police declared that he had done nothing wrong! Commander Perez actually had the audacity to commend the person that murdered JR saying this sort of killing happens often and usually the killer doesn't turn themselves in. In the conclusion of his report, Commander Perez declared that JR was the cause of his own death. We found out very quickly that Hit and Run incidents are not illegal in Mexico. According to the Mexican government, it is simply OK to kill people, even unsuspecting tourists as they cross a street [or sun bath on a beach. Never mind that speeding cars shouldn't be on a beach in the first place...to the Mexican government, that's OK!]
The bribery and corruption there is OUT OF CONTROL! We are asking anyone who is planning on going to Mexico for vacation or for any reason to please do your research before going or contact JR's parents to get first hand information on the nightmare we went through just trying to get our precious son's body home. There are no words that can express the gratitude and love we feel towards the LORD, our family, friends and so many people that we didn't even know that have helped us through this storm we are still going through. Your prayers and support will be cherished forever. Thank you and may God Bless you all.
Lovell Keith Adams, Jr., also known as "JR" was born on July 17, 1987. He was born to Melody Ann Behbahani and Lovell "KC" Adams, Sr. at Wheerler Hospital in Gilroy, CA.
During his childhood, JR attended school in Morgan Hill CA and was currently attending Valley Christian High School in San Jose CA where he was a senior.
JR was an outstanding football player who was to receive a full Football Scholarship from Idaho State University. He had helped to lead the Warriors to the Central Coast Section Open Division title, was named High School Athlete of the week and was voted CCS Football Player of the year in 2004 by Cal-Hi Bay Area Sports. He was also selected to the Silicon Valley Classic/Charlie Wedemeyer All-Star Football game.
JR loved the Lord, his family, friends, and girlfriend Haley. He was known for his unforgetable smile and his vibrant goofy sense of humor.
God had given JR a heart compassion, most especially for his dear friend Winston Jaco, Jr who died of colon cancer on the same day Jr had left for vacation.
The night before JR left for his family vacation he kissed Winston on the forehead and said " I will see you in a week" Winston's reply back was "and I'll be better in a week" They both kept their promises to each other. They loved each other and had a strong bond. We all love them both dearly and look forward to holding them in our arms again.
If you haven’t given your life to Jesus Christ, please consider this JR”S WISH.
Thank you and may God Bless you all!
Former MH teen killed in Mexico
Mar 25, 2005
Well-known Gilroy resident and Valley Christian High School football standout “J.R.” Lovell Keith Adams was killed instantly Friday night by a hit-and-run driver while vacationing with his family in Cancun, Mexico.
“We lost a student, lost a player, lost the whole nine yards,” said Mike Machado, who serves as dean of students and head football coach. “JR was a team leader (a captain) as well as a leader on campus. He brought a smile to a lot of faces.”
Adams was struck while crossing a street Friday night. The car did not have its headlights on - and did not stop. As of press time today, the driver had not been found.
Adams, who was raised in Morgan Hill, attended Britton Middle School before enrolling at Valley Christian High School in San Jose.
It was Valley Christian’s second student death in four weeks, and fourth over the past year.
A team meeting was held Monday morning where Adams’ fellow football players and friends were notified of their most recent tragedy.
“There were a lot of tears, a lot of stories. We told the kids that there’s no answer for this kind of stuff,” Machado said. “You can’t take away memories - and we have a lot of memories.”
Adams, a 17-year-old senior, was an outstanding football player and captain, voted the team’s Most Valuable Player and selected to play in an all-star game in July.
“He would have found out about it (the selection) this weekend,” Machado said.
Valley Christian, which plays in the top-rated West Catholic Athletic League, was ranked number one in the NorCal rankings, and won the Central Coast Section Playoffs this year.
Idaho State University had offered Adams a scholarship, which he was considering and probably would have taken, Machado said.
Over the past four years, Machado watched Adams develop into “one heck of a football player.” According to his coach, Adams was a hard-worker on and off the field.
“He wasn’t one of the most gifted (academically) but he worked hard,” Machado said. “Of all things, what I’ll miss most is just talking to him. I want people to know what kind of a loss this is.”
Adams is the second Valley Christian football player to die this month. Andre Pittman, a 2004 graduate of Valley Christian, was killed four weeks ago in a rain-related car accident.
“J.R. was a funny guy,” remembered teammate, Ricky Sharff. “He just always would be able to cheer you up.”
Sharff was Pittman’s best friend.
Every Wednesday Adams and friends would go out for an all-you-can-eat dinner and watch TV together Sharff said. “And that was just Wednesdays,” he said. “But the last time I saw him was at Andre’s funeral two weeks ago.”
Adams had been vacationing with his father, KC Lovell Adams, when the tragedy occurred. His father will bring his body home Wednesday morning.
KC Adams coached in Morgan Hill Pop Warner football for many years. JR Adams played in Pop Warner as he grew up here.
“God was first. Family was second. And football was third (in his life),” said Adams’ uncle, Marlowe Brinson. “Going to college was probably his number one dream. His education was more important than football - a lot of people don’t know that,” he said.
“It’s important for him to remembered not for his football colors, but for the person he was,” Brinson said. “One thing that (J.R.’s) father taught him was that no one was going to give him anything in life - he had to fight for it. And he did that.”
A handsome young man and joker, Adams would stare into the mirror, playing with his lips, and pretend “he was stronger than he was,” he recalled.
“He taught me to appreciate everything you have in life - because it can be taken away from you.”
Funeral services will be held at a later date under the direction of Habing Family Funeral Home in Gilroy.
Football star buried
Mar 30, 2005
Friends and teammates of Lovell Keith ‘JR’ Adams carry his casket at Gavilan Hill's Cemetery on Tuesday.
San Jose and Gilroy - More than 800 mourners gathered Tuesday to honor senior football stand out Lovell Keith "JR" Adams at Valley Christian High School. Mourners awoke to gray sky and rain - a fitting scene under the circumstances.
Adams was killed March 18 by a hit-and-run driver when crossing a dark highway while on vacation with his family and friends in Cancun, Mexico.
Cars wound around the entranceway of Valley Christian High School, clogging adjoining streets as they made their way into the parking lot for the morning service.
Mourners gathered in the school's gymnasium, many wearing traditional black, and others dressed in sweatshirts and T-shirts bearing his number, 3, and his name. Some even wore Adams' image painted across their backs and chests. His teammates honored him by wearing their football jerseys.
The bleachers were packed. Championship banners hung overheard - a symbol of Adams' success as a football player. The crowd, pouring out into the hallways, was a symbol of his success as a person.
"My dad used to say that if you wanted to measure a man's wealth - don't look at how much money he has. Ask his friends," said longtime family friend Roger Mitchell. "Look around. JR was a very wealthy person."
Family members and friends spoke of a young man who never stopped smiling or caring for others. They shared stories of his dedication to God and family.
"He would talk to K.C. (his father) about everything. About anything. You just don't see that a lot nowadays," Mitchell said.
The 17-year old had recently been voted as a starter in the Silicon Valley Youth Classic/Charlie Wedemeyer All-Star Football game this summer and received a full scholarship to Idaho State. He died without ever knowing. Football coach Mike Machado had planned on surprising Adams once he returned from Cancun.
"I pray and I hope that he knows those things," he said during the service.
Machado spoke of "JR Adams the football player." On paper he was captain of his team - a running back who rushed 924-yards during the 2004 regular season and was voted first team All-League in the West Catholic Athletic League. He led the league in scoring, and was one of the top rushers and receivers. Voted WCAL Running Back of the Year - he helped his team earn the Central Coast Section division title.
"Good things happened when no. 3 had the ball," Machado said.
But Adams was more than what the paper read.
"He did it right," Machado said, describing a loyal teammate who was more than just a good athlete. Machado spent the weekend reviewing football tapes, watching Adams commend his teammates, picking them up, and perfecting drills.
"He did it right, play after play," he said. "The lowest point of my career has become the greatest honor."
Adams was a son. A brother. A boyfriend. A student. A disciple of God.
"He was an all around good kid," said former teammate Martin Serrano Jr. "Whenever he was around, good things happened. JR was never selfish. He always put his friends first."
Some of those friends and family watched a slideshow at the funeral. In every photograph he was smiling or making others smile with his antics. The solemn air was lifted when a video of his football plays was revealed. Applause erupted when Adams accelerated past the competition - almost untouchable.
In a final show of respect to conclude the service, his teammates took to the football field. Many of them later served as pallbearers at the burial in Gavilan Hills Memorial Park.
Hundreds drove from Valley Christian to attend the burial. Even the sun managed to come out, chasing the rain clouds from the cemetery. Adams' silver casket was laden with red roses, and surrounded by floral displays. Some placed their hands upon its frame - for one final touch of the young man they loved.
Adams took his relationship with God very seriously. He was known to pray in public at restaurants, and openly profess his belief. He spent countless hours sharing God with others, his father said.
"That's how I know exactly where he is," the elder Adams told mourners. "I know exactly where he is."
Football Camp Remembers JR Adams and Myles Brinson
Jul 18, 2006
For Melody Behbahani, the images hit a little too close to home.
It had only been four months since her son, 17-year-old JR Adams, was killed in a hit-and-run accident in Mexico during spring break. So when she attended the Myles Brinson/JR Adams Fundamentals of Football Camp last July - the camp held partly in honor of her son - it was difficult for Behbahani to be around the game that had been such a big part of JR's life.
"You look at the kids running out there and you see your son," she said. "It's like, 'Where 's JR?'"
In the three summers prior to 2005, JR's father KC Adams and Myles' father Marlowe Brinson had hosted the week-long football camp in memory of Myles, who died of leukemia in 2002 at the age of eight. This year's camp, which began Monday at Anchorpoint Christian, will be the second year that the camp has been held also in memory of JR Adams, who was a standout player at Valley Christian and was headed to Idaho State on a football scholarship after graduation.
But despite the pain that Behbahani, JR's stepmother Liz Adams and Myles' mother Sherida Brinson continue to feel over their loss, they know their sons would be proud of the camp.
"I don't think time has lessened the hurt at all," Liz Adams said. "But it was something (JR) would have really enjoyed and wanted."
The purpose of the five-day football camp, led by former college players KC Adams and Marlowe Brinson, is not just to teach the game but also to pass along life skills to campers.
"I believe that the camp has touched many peoples' lives," Sherida Brinson said. "These kids leave there with a sense of certainty in their lives. You know some are unsure (when they get here). But when they leave, there's self-confidence."
For five days, campers learn the game of football - the sport that JR Adams once told his mother was his life.
"He said, 'One day, I'll play pro ball,' " Behbahani said. "I said, 'JR, I know you will.' And he would have."
Young Myles Brinson didn't have the chance to become as established on the football field as JR did. But Sherida Brinson saw what the joy of sports did for her son in the last year of his life. Myles played in a handful of soccer games before he was diagnosed with leukemia. And it was right before his health began to deteriorate that Myles scored his first goal.
"The game he wasn't feeling good at, he scored his first goal," Sherida Brinson remembered. "He was screaming … That's when I could tell he understood the passion of playing sports."
Despite being so young, Myles had already developed a value for things in his life other than sports.
"Myles, even though he loved the game of football, there were so many other things in his life," Sherida Brinson said. "Going to school and church and doing things with his family, that was pretty much what he lived for."
To inspire kids to succeed in all aspects of their lives, the camp has guest speakers daily. Among those that will speak on various issues at the camp are boxer Robert "The Ghost" Guerrero, Foothills Foursquare Church pastor Mark Wilson and former San Francisco 49er and three-time Pro Bowler Dana Stubblefield.
"Bittersweet" is the word the mothers often use to describe their feelings about the camp. This year, the first day of camp incidentally fell on what would have been JR's 19th birthday.
"At first, (KC) didn't want it (to start on JR's birthday)," Liz Adams said. "But then he said, 'No, it's a good day to start."
IN LOVING MEMORY
"You'll never be forgotten..."
From VCHS Principal Dr. Joel Torode
We believe that by now most of you are aware of the tragic events of late Friday. One of our senior students, JR Adams, was killed while crossing a street in Mexico. We are all deeply saddened by this news of the unexpected passing of such a dearly loved member of our school family. Our deepest thoughts and prayers are with the family of JR, and with all of his many friends here at school. Details of his funeral service have not yet been deterined; we will update all of you as more information becomes available. Let me share from my heart some thought about how we can approach such a devastating loss.
To be genuinely Christian is to believe that this earth is not all there is. The bible tells us, "We do not want you to be ignorant about those who have died, so that we do not grieve like the others who have no hope". We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have died in him.
But even knowing this as Christians does not take away our emotions. We cry. Our hearts can still be broken. We grieve, but we do not do this without hope. Zechariah 14 tells us that the day is coming when the Lord will come take away our sorrow and wipe away every tear. But for now, the Apostle paul consoles us that "our momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory."
Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life." We can have assurance that we can all see JR Adams again in heaven, if we have made our "reservations" in advance with the Lord Jesus. None of us knows when our own day will come to meet the Lord, and se we resolve to appreciate each day of life on this earth as a precious gift from Him. And for now we can take comfort in the words of a hymn: O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee, I trace the rainbow through the rain, And feel the promise is not in vain.
Jr loved him some Usher!!!
(feat. Lil' Jon, Ludacris)
Peace up! A Town Down!
Yeah, (Yeah!) OK!
(Usher! Usher! Usher! Usher!)
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!
Up in the club with my homies, tryna get a lil' V-I, but keep it down on the low key, 'cause you know how it is.
I saw shorty she was checkin' up on me, from the game she was spittin' in my ear you would think that she knew me.
So we decided to chill
Conversation got heavy, she had me feelin' like she's ready to blow!
(Watch Out! Oh! Watch Out!)
She's saying "Come get me! Come get me",
So I got up and followed her to the floor, she said "Baby, let's go",
That's when I told her I said
Yeah (yeah) Shorty got down low and said come and get me
Yeah (yeah) I got so caught up I forgot she told me
Yeah (yeah) Her and my girl used to be the best of homies
Yeah (yeah) Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming:
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!
So she's all up in my head now, got me thinking that it might good idea to take her with me,
'Cause she's ready to leave (ready to leave)
But I gotta keep it real now, 'cause on a one to ten she's a certified twenty, but that just ain't me. Hey.
Because I don't know if I take that chance just where it's gonna lead,
But what I do know is the way she dance makes shorty alright with me.
The way she (get low!)
I'm like yeah, just work that out for me.
She asked for one more dance and I'm
Like yeah, how the hell am I supposed to leave?
And I said
My outfit's ridiculous, in the club lookin' so conspicuous.
And Rowl! These women all on the prowl, if you hold the head steady I'm a milk the cow.
Forget about the game, I'm a spit the truth, I won't stop till I get 'em in they birthday suits.
So gimmie the rhythm and it'll be off with their clothes, then bend over to the front and touch your toes.
I left the Jag and I took the Rolls, if they aint cutting then I put em on foot patrol.
How you like me now, when my pinky's valued over three hundred thousand,
Lets drank you the one to please, Ludacris fill cups like double D's.
Me and Ursh once more and we leave 'em dead, we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed to say
Take that and rewind it back, Lil' Jon got the beat to make ya booty go (clap)
Take that and rewind it back, Ursher got the voice to make ya booty go (clap)
Take that and rewind it back, Ludacris got the flow to make ya booty go (clap)
Take that and rewind it back, Lil' Jon got the beat to make ya booty go (clap)
Please visit the website below before going to KILLER MEXICO!!
The Mexico Vacation Awareness website is designed with the hope of achieving two main objectives. Our first objective is to create awareness about the many dangers that await you when traveling to Mexico. How many times have you heard “you will be safe as long as you stay “inside” the resort”? On this site you will read stories that show staying inside the resort does not ensure your safety. At many resorts in Mexico the levels of safety standards are far below those in the U.S. From low balcony heights and lack of lifeguards at the pools, to non-existent first aid emergency plans. What you read will shock you.
The second objective of this website is to establish a link for victims and their families to tell their stories. Whether you are a victim of crime, or if a family member or loved one has died while vacationing in Mexico, we want to hear your story. By sharing your stories on this website, we can all come together in one central place. By coming together, we will become strong enough to demand that changes be made. As you will read by clicking on the U.S. Department of State link, “Death of U.S. citizen’s abroad from non-natural causes” there are hundreds of victims. Appallingly, twenty-eight percent of all “non-natural” deaths of U.S. citizens throughout the world occur in Mexico. The travel industry as well as the United States Government have got to make it clear to the Mexico Department of Tourism that Mexico needs to make improving their safety standards a priority. And that failure to do so will create a serious decline in their tourist industry.
Please use the information on this website to assist you in making an educated decision about whether Mexico, in its current state, is a good vacation choice. It is too late for Nolan, but it is not too late for you
Killer Vacation is what Spring Break is known as in Cancun Mexico!!!!!
Believe it...it's ok to kill people in Mexico and get away with it. Our son and two days later another innocent young tourist was run down like a dog and nothing was done about it again!
We need to stay out of Mexico and stop supporting their calculated killngs of our innocent children and tourist! I will always believe that our sons killing wasn't an accident....Mexico will do anything for money. GOD will have his justice....How dare Cmdr Carlos Perez say that our son was the cause of his own death! GOD will have his way with you.....
Can You Believe It?
Be Warned - Hit and Run is NOT a crime in Mexico
Excerpts taken from the Mercury News posted Mar 25, 2005
Driver escapes charges in death
VICTIM'S FAMILY ANGRY AFTER HIT-RUN INCIDENT THAT KILLED GILROY TEEN ON VACATION IN MEXICO
By Edwin Garcia
The hit-and-run driver who killed a Valley Christian High School senior vacationing near Cancun last week won't face criminal charges, a Mexican police official said Thursday
Although the driver turned himself in Saturday, about eight hours after crashing into 17-year-old J.R. Adams (the author of this article uses the nickname of J.R. Adams - elsewhere in the article the victims name was given as Lovell Keith Adams) of Gilroy, investigators concluded he committed no crime, said Cmdr. Carlos Perez of the Playa del Carmen Police Department.
``He didn't notice when the person crossed the traffic lane, he couldn't help but run him over,'' said Perez, who noted that hit-and-run isn't considered a violation in Mexico. He also would not release the name of the driver.
The commander also said investigators ruled that J.R. was to blame for his own death, for crossing in an unsafe manner, on a highway where there are no street lights, no crosswalks and where pedestrian deaths are not unusual.......
Medina said investigators never spoke with J.R.'s friends and never took their statements. Perez said the driver's declaration was sufficient to conclude that the crash was accidental.
Perez, the police commander, praised the driver for turning himself in the next day, saying that type of ``civil tact'' rarely happens.
Need more proof?
Court Blocks Arrest Of Man Who Killed American On Baja Beach
Driver Of Car That Hit Santa Barbara Woman Identified
POSTED: 10:49 am PDT April 15, 2005
ROSARITO, Mexico -- Police have identified the driver who hit two Americans while drag racing on a beach here last month, but he has avoided arrest by filing a court injunction, investigators said Thursday.
Amy Ruth Kent, 24, of Santa Barbara, California, died instantly when she was hit by the car March 20. Her companion, Joseph Andre Escalante, was seriously injured and taken to a hospital in California.
Witnesses told police that the two were resting on the sand in front of a restaurant when they were hit by a man driving a Honda. The driver fled the scene.
Maria Teresa Valadez, a deputy attorney general for Baja California state, which includes Rosarito, said at a news conference that six witnesses reported the 19-year-old owner of the Honda was driving at the time of the accident, but that an injunction filed by his lawyers prevented his arrest.
She said state prosecutors planned to ask a judge to lift the injunction, but that even if the suspect is arrested, he can be released on bail of only about $455 because he faces charges no more serious than accidental slaying -- even though witnesses said he was illegally drag racing at the time of the accident.
Valadez said authorities were able to locate the car parked outside a Rosarito home belonging to the suspect several days after the hit-and-run. They found the suspect inside, but were unable to detain him.
Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press.
U.S., Mexico Mostly Silent About Deaths of American Tourists South of the Border
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
By Penny Starr, Senior Staff Writer
Nolan and Ryan
Nolan Webster, right, and his older brother Ryan (Photos courtesy of the Midlock and Webster families)(CNSNews.com) – Almost six years after her 8-year-old son Brent was sucked into a drainage pipe and drowned in a swimming pool at a Mexican resort, Nancy Midlock is still trying to find closure. For Maureen Webster, who treated her 22-year-old son Nolan to a trip to Mexico as a college graduation gift two years ago, the cause of his death near a shallow resort pool is still unresolved.
But both women have transformed their personal tragedies into a cause to make sure their children did not die in vain. They want Mexican authorities to investigate the cases of Americans who die in that country.
According to the U.S. Department of State, more than 1,300 Americans have died in Mexico in the past six years. Midlock and Webster want the U.S. government to warn Americans that vacationing south of the border can involve life-threatening risks not printed on glossy travel brochures.
“I’ve never heard one person say they were sorry,” Webster told CNSNews.com. “That’s the most frustrating part. Nolan is not going to be a freakin’ number on that State Department list. He’s going to be a reason for change. He’s going to be the reason that it isn’t all going to get pushed under the carpet any longer.”
“I am committed to saving lives,” Midlock told CNSNews.com. “Every time I read of a life that’s been taken in such a senseless manner, it breaks my heart, because I’m not driven by failure. I am driven by success and making a difference in this world, and it’s not happening. Our government and the Mexican government are making the issue more convoluted so they don’t have to do anything about it.”
In fact, Nancy Midlock and Maureen Webster have become activists, including meeting with Mexican and U.S. officials. Both launched Web sites, Midlock to pay tribute to her son and warn others by sharing horrific details of his death and the recovery of his broken body. Webster’s Web site, www.mexicovacationawareness.com, details the accidental deaths of dozens of tourists, many at resort properties, from the United States and other countries.
Both U.S. and Mexican officials are aware of the cases of Brent Midlock and Nolan Webster, although neither will comment directly on their deaths, the state of any investigations into their deaths or exactly what the U.S. government has done to resolve their cases.
When asked by CNSNews.com about Brent and Nolan and what the State Department does to help families like the Midlocks and Websters, the State Department’s Consular Affairs spokesman said, “Since the laws of a host country prevail, we work with the authorities of a given country to bring closure for families upon the deaths of their loved ones,” including “obtaining a list of local attorneys who speak English.”
Brent Midlock during his last soccer season (Photos courtesy of the Midlock and Webster families)“Consular Affairs cannot, however,” the spokesman said, “investigate crimes, provide legal advice or representation in court, serve as official interpreters or translators, or pay legal, medical or other fees.”
The same spokesman also told CNSNews.com that they would not provide any details the State Department might have on the cases of Brent and Nolan.
“We cannot comment on any specific overseas death case involving American citizens,” the spokesman said.
The State Department told CNSNews.com that privacy concerns keep officials from discussing specific cases of Americans who died from non-natural causes in Mexico – a fact that Midlock and Webster said doesn’t make sense, given that both families have spoken out publicly about their sons’ deaths, including to news media and on their Web sites.
In fact, Midlock spent more than two years lobbying the State Department to change its reporting on the non-natural deaths of U.S. citizens abroad to include the specific location where an individual died, including, if it applies, the name of the resort where the death occurred, and to add more details on the circumstances of the death.
Now, Brent Midlock is the only death listed in the State Department’s eight years of reports to include those details: “Grand XCaret Hotel Playa Del Carmen, Quintana Roo, Mexico. Drowning-Mexican report indicated negligence; pool did not meet safety standards.”
Words, not actions
Although the Midlocks and the Websters and hundreds of other American families that have lost loved ones in Mexico think that justice has not been served, there is a paper trail of letters sent between U.S. and Mexican officials offering condolences and urging action be taken to prevent more tragedies.
“I want to assure you that the Bureau of Consular Affairs will continue to work on behalf of Brent and your family to inform American citizens of potential dangers when traveling in a foreign country,” Maura Harty, former assistant secretary for consular affairs at State, wrote in a letter to Nancy Midlock in May 2007.
“We are continually working to improve our outreach program to reach as many Americans as possible with the hope that tragedies like the one that your family has experienced can be prevented,” Harty added.
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) wrote to the Mexican ambassador to the United States in 2005 and 2007 on behalf of Brent Midlock’s family, expressing his concern about the safety of Americans who visit Mexico.
In 2007, Mexico’s Ambassador Arturo Sarukhan wrote to both Durbin and the Midlocks, assuring them that Mexican authorities were making sure that safety standards were enforced.
“It is in the best interest of Mexico to increase its safety standards if it wants to be one of the world’s premier vacation destinations,” Sarukhan said in his letter to Durbin.
Webster’s Web site – which details some of the gruesome deaths of American tourists in Mexico, including a 16-year-old who fell down an open elevator shaft and a 34-year-old man who Mexican authorities said fell from a balcony but whose family believed he was beaten to death at the resort where he was staying – got the attention of Eduardo Chaillo.
Chaillo’s job as the U.S. director of the Mexico Tourism Board is to increase the number of Americans who visit his country, which he estimated is about 11 million a year.
“We have to improve every day,” Chaillo, who has met with Midlock and Webster, told CNSNews.com. “Of course, we have to be very sensitive and helpful.”
More than numbers
But despite the rhetoric by Mexican and American officials, in the six years since the State Department started publishing reports on the non-natural deaths of U.S. citizens abroad (Oct. 2002 to June 30, 2008), more than 1,300 Americans have died in Mexico.
From July 1, 2005 to June 30, 2008, Mexico accounted for 29 percent (637 people) of Americans who died abroad, ahead of Iraq (105) and Thailand (68).
And the State Department told CNSNews.com that it does not track these cases, so officials cannot say if any of them resulted in arrests, prosecutions or convictions. This despite its detailed 2007 report on human rights in Mexico, which includes names, dates, and information on the kidnapping, rape, torture, and murder of Mexican citizens, police corruption, poor prison conditions and the plight of political prisoners.
The State Department does issue travel alerts for Mexico, and tips for Americans traveling abroad. But while the general comment is made that safety standards in Mexico are not the same as in the United States and that many areas of the country pose danger for tourists, under the heading “resorts” no mention is made of possible hazards.
Nancy Midlock, Brent’s father, and his two older sisters, who live in Illinois, are still struggling with Brent’s death. When his 8th grade class held a graduation ceremony in the spring, they included a tribute to Brent, who would be 14 today.
“They all said something in a video how he had affected their lives,” Midlock said.
Webster, Nolan’s father, and his younger brother, who live in Massachusetts, also remain stunned at his death on what was supposed to be the vacation of a young lifetime.
Both Midlock and Webster told CNSNews.com that while they want closure on the death of their sons, their most important goal is sparing another family the anguish they have experienced.
“I don’t want anyone to have to live like this,” Midlock said. “This is an existence of hell now.”
“What I would ultimately like to see happen is, if you are booking a trip to a country that has a travel warning or a travel alert, that it would be the law for the travel agent or tour operator to make you aware of it,” Webster said.
Both the Midlock and Webster families are pursuing legal action against the resorts where their sons died, but no progress on those actions has been reported.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and their shall be no more death,neither sorrow or crying, neither shall there be any more pain:
For the former things are passed away
MY MOM IS A SURVIVOR
My mom is a survivor; Or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away.....
I watch over my surviving mom; "Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others.... A smile of disguise!
But through heavens door's I see the tears flowing from her eye's.
My mom tries to cope with death, and to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her, knows it is only her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom through heaven's open door....
I try to tell her that angel's "Protect me now forever more".
I know that doesn't help her... Or ease the burden that she bears
So if you get the chance, go visit her... And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says.... No matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart "That time won't ever heal".
Their Room Without Them
Cleaning, and Clearing Out Your Child’s Bedroom
Time only seems to dull the pain into something manageable, never eradicating it. But while you may never stop grieving your child, there are healthy ways to live with your grief. We all grieve in our own way, but we should be aware of when our grief is moving into unhealthy areas. Normally we know when things are bad for us. On a very basic level we've learned throughout our lives that pain is a warning that something's wrong. Our body sends us signs if we need rest, or medical attention, but in times of grief, when everything seems to hurt, it can be hard to know what is just another stage in the process, and what is causing more harm.
Sorting through and dealing with possessions that your loved one has left behind can be an especially difficult step. After the loss of a child, their bedroom can become a sort of mausoleum. Unlike packing up a house or apartment which can have strict timelines involved as to when everything must be done, your child's bedroom can be left as it is indefinitely. When is it the right time to pack it up? Only you can know; there is not a right or wrong time to do it.
The emotions that this process will stir in you will be overwhelming. The smell and feel of the fabric of the clothes will flood you in memories. It's okay to be nervous about doing it. Some parents want to share the experience with a family member or friend, as a pillar of support through the ordeal. Others, who may feel embarrassed to weep openly (even though they know that they shouldn't) prefer to go through it privately. Just don't be bullied into how to handle this difficult step; you know what is a comfort to you and what is not. Listen to your heart, and do what you need to do.
Packing up your child's room marks the finality of their life. But, their memories live on through mementos and keepsakes. Some parents are comforted by having some of their child's possessions around the house on display, while others prefer to keep them in a private spot, unseen to guests. It may be healing to give away some of your child's things to friends or family, or to those who can't afford nice clothes or toys. Again, there is no simple answer to what to do with your child's things, so just do what feels right to you. If there is any doubt as what to do with an item, wait, and do not feel hurried to make a choice. When deciding if you should give something away, try to process how you may feel when you see it for the first time again with the other person. Will you feel joy or sadness by the memories it may invoke?
Biblical evidence of our (your) child's status
Biblical evidence of the status of young children who die is not explicit and clear, but we have hints and we have the nature of God. First to the hints. In II Samuel Chapter 12 verse 23 we see David pick himself up off the ground after the death of his child and return to a normal life. This shocked his servants who expected him to continue his mourning for the dying child. When they questioned David about his bizarre behavior his answer was: "But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."
The meaning of this is that we can not get our little child back while we are yet still here on Earth, but we shall go to be with them forever once we ourselves go to heaven. David was sure he was bound for heaven, and he knew his child was there also. So he knew he would be reunited with his child. Therefore he had no reason to continue to mourn, his son would be returned to him eternally once his tasks here on earth were finished.
Now to the nature of God. There are several defining characteristics of our God. One is love, another is justice. I know the second must be hard to accept right now. I know the felling of "why them" and "what did they ever do to deserve this". However, God's perspective is different than ours. Justice is ultimately served in the eternal status of your child, not in the circumstances of this life, or of their death. Surely, your child s removal from this world was unjust and evil to say the least. Your pain is undeserved, and unrelenting. However, your child is only dead in a physical sense. Dead to this world of evil. However, spiritually your child is very much alive in heaven. If your child were sentenced to hell, then that would be inconsistent with God's nature of justice. It would be an evil act to send these little ones to hell to be tortured by more evil beings. Therefore I know that due to God's just nature that they are in heaven.
Secondly is God's nature of Love, and especially his love for children. In Matthew 19 verses 13-15, in Mark 10 verses 13-16, and in Luke 18 verses 15-17 we read of a extraordinary event which shows the remarkable love God has for children. Here in the NIV version I give the passage from Matthew: "13 Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and to pray for them, but the disciples scolded the people. 14 Jesus said "Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. 15 He placed his hands on them and then went away."
The passage from Mark: "Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples scolded the people. When Jesus noticed this, he was angry and said to his disciples, "Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 13 I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." 16 Then he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them, and blessed them."
The passage from Luke: "15 Some people brought their babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. The disciples saw them and scolded them for doing so, 16 but Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 Remember this! Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."
From these remarkable passages we learn of Christ's love of children, and of his protection of them, and of his faith for them. He teaches us that we too as parents must accept him in childlike faith...not with parental adult reasoning and scientific proof. We must have simple faith in him, and his deliverance of our child from this world of evil to his heaven of eternal kindness.
I urge everyone who reads this to accept Christ and have the joy of knowing you will be reunited in Heaven with your child.
Just say this PRAYER
This simple prayer-when prayed in sincerity-will bring you into a personal relationship with God.
Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that I need Your help. I am not able to change my life or circumstances through my own efforts. I know that I have made some wrong decisions in my life, and I turn away from those ways of thinking and acting that are not producing positive outcomes in my life. I believe You have provided a way for me to receive Your blessings and help in my life. That way is Jesus. Right now, I believe and confess Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I ask Jesus to come into my heart and give me a new life born of Your Spirit. I thank You for saving me and I ask for Your grace and mercy in my life. I pray this in Jesus' name
Melody ~ JR's Mama
"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your Lord.' Matthew 25:21
Mother and Her Son
We walked together, JR and I.
A mother and her son.
We had hopes and dreams for tomorrow,
But tomorrow didn't come.
We walked together, JR and I.
We talked, we laughed, we loved.
We shared so many happy times
And for that, I thank the lord above
We walked together, JR and I,
But only for a short time.
For all too soon it ended
Leaving pieces of broken hearts behind.
And even though I miss you JR,
More than words can say,
I thank God that I got to walk with you
Every precious moment of every day....
"Let not your heart be troubled: you believe in God believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you , I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." (John 14:1-3
I think of you and it makes me smile- if only for a little while
Your hair, your nose, your mouth and eyes – I sometimes try to visualize.
The way you’d always turn your head, when I’d come in your room while you were laying on your bed,
I loved the way you’d look at me and smiled that smile that I loved to see.
I think of you and it makes me smile – if only for a little while
Your arms, your legs, your back, your skin – that beautiful soul that lay within,
Those precious moments we shared, you and I, they break my heart and make me cry.
But I know you’re looking down on me, and want to see that smile that was just between you and me,
So just know that when I think of you, it makes me smile – if only for a little while
Written by Susan Welch for Jr’s mama
My love, My life, My baby boy....Mama would die for you!
Ode to JR.......
written by Leah
What a smoovey guy, i personaly think he's quite fly. Always matching his ensembles he should join swim team and wear goggles! Jr is the best person to sit beside, his curly hair reminds me of the ocean tide. Jr is sad today and a little moody, but who cares he has a nice bootie! I would like to see him dance, his leaping will look like an awesome prance. Oh, Jr, Jr, the man to be, just thinking of him makes me so very happy!
To take one day at a time.
Not to say, "if only," "I should have, "etc.
To appreciate what I've got and not moan about what I "don't got."
To appreciate life and not take it for granted.
If today is bleak, tomorrow can be better.
To appreciate the moments when I can laugh.
That without my support group, family and friends, I would be lost.
How very much I need my friends.
How much I treasure and love my son's friends.
Not to take my health for granted.
What is trivial.
That if my energy level is low, I don't push myself.
The importance of exercise.
That grief is not time-bound.
That no one grieves like me; everybody grieves differently.
That the pain never goes away, but it does get "softer."
That no one can comfort me the way Jesus can.
To allow the grief, pain and loss to become a part of me.
That there is a reason to keep on living and loving.
That joy does return...only in a different way.
To turn "it" over to the Lord.
That someday we will be together again.
Not to let Satan steal my happiness.
To ride "the wave" of denial, anger, depression and acceptance.
To accept that I many never know why.
It's okay to say "No."
Not to blame people when they don't understand.
The ability to face adversity (courage).
To be strong and resolute.
The importance of support and encouragement.
That there is friendship and family, OR, famly and friendship.
That to lose a child is the "ULTIMATE TRAGEDY."
That I need others who have been there to help me through this journey.
That love never dies.
That time is an ally.
That every moment really matters.
That eventually you do want to go on and live again.
That I must create a "new normal" for myself.
That my son's love of life continues to give me strength to go on.
That I must re-invest energy I gave to my child into something or someone else.
That over time, I have more control over my grief.
That I will always have tears on my heart.
That it is so important to keep my son's name ad memory alive.
That only in the articulation of grief does it diminish.
That making new traditions helps.
How the soft glow of a candle helps warm my heart and bring my child near.
That it doesn't matter how our child died, just that they have.
That over time, the cemetery brings peace and solitude...not just tears.
A Bereaved Parent's Wish List
1. I wish my son hadn't died. I wish I had him back.
2. I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my son's name. My son lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also.
3. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my son, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
4. I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances from your home.
5. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.
6. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you; but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.
7. I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child death pains you too. I wish you would let me know those things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.
8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first months are traumatic for me. But I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I willl suffer the death of my son until the day I die.
9. I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never full recover. I will always miss my son, and I will always grieve that he is dead.
10. I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.
11. I don't want to have a "pity party," but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.
12. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.
13. When I say, "I'm doing okay" I wish you could understantd that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.
14. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
15. Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
16. Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.
A Mother's Love
(Written by Mark Soto)
From the moment of the very first thought the bond was made. To watch the life inside me grow with wonderment and joy. How special to be given a precious baby boy. My darling J.R., our time together was a once in a lifetime experience that was ours and ours alone. Though you may be gone in the flesh, in my heart you will forever have a home.